The Terror of Night
by Jessicarose6661
Summary: Phil has started having Night Terrors, which means Dan has to stay in bed with Phil every night. As things get further on Dan is faced with another issue. His ex is back.
1. Chapter 1

I heard him screaming again, everynight, screaming, and there is nothing that I can do about it. I get up out of my bed, feeling disorientated. I check my clock, 3:20am, Jeez. Moving quietly out of my room and up the hall to his bedroom, placing one ear to the door to hear his heavy panting and soft sobs, I decided it's time to head in and comfort him, night after night, just holding him until he fall asleep again. Three soft taps on the door, then I head in.  
"Hey, are you okay? Was it the dream again?" I whispered, trying not to startle him. He nodded slowly, unable to speak. I slowly moved over to him, going to take my usual position in his bed. I wish that he would get better, everynight I wish.

"I'm here now, you don't need to worry, just try get some more sleep, I am here" I try to reassure him, I could feel his hand searching on the bed, looking for my hand, I guided it to him, so he could grip onto me. This has become a normal routine for me, it's a good thing I don't have to get up for work. It was tiring looking after him night after night, I may aswell become a full time carer, he needed my help as much as he could during this period of time. I would gladly do it for him. I loved him, not in the way you'd expect though.  
"Don't you dare leave me like you did last time! You promised me!" I heard him scream, I cooed him back to peacefulness, hoping he would soon drift off. I didn't need to do this for him, but he was my blue eye'd boy, I'd give up my world for him. I decided that in the morning I would quit my job, and spend my time looking after him, after all, we made enough of off YouTube to get by and he didn't even work. Soon I drifted off to sleep myself, a long dreamless sleep.

"Daaaaannnn!" I heard someone trying to wake me, shaking me softly. "Dan, wake up!"  
I stired and soon opened my eyes, to see two beautiful eyes staring back at me.  
"Why are you always in my bed when I wake up? I am starting to think you can't sleep at night without having someone with you"  
I couldn't tell him the truth, what I hear at night, his screams of agony, the tears that he sheds.  
"I just like cuddling up to someone, it makes me feel safe" I lied to him, another morning of lies. I need to tell him soon, as soon as I can. The only thing stopping me is that I know he would leave, so I could have peace, but in actual fact I liked to make sure my Phil was okay at night, I loved curling up to him and being his teddy, I loved him too much to let him leave. I'd never forgive myself if he did leave, knowing that I forced him away. I know, I will make a doctors appointment in secret, and take him there, saying that we are going out for the day, this needs to be sorted out once and for all. I need him to be feeling better before I can start to live with myself again.  
"Dan, I'd never have you put you down as having a fear for the dark, but I think I might have to" He teased, just as always. I don't know how he could be so oblivious to the fact of his never ending torment. I smiled at him, and pulled myself out of bed. He was already dressed, ready for today, even though it is only going to be a 'video day'.  
We have video days once a week, where we would both sit and make our videos together, sometimes it was a colab, other times it was on our own. Usually we have this on my day off work, Fridays, but mine dont get uploaded until Saturday night.  
I trudged back to my room, to put on clean clothes, usually consisting of baggy three-quater length lounge pants and some sort of t shirt.  
I heard three taps on the door then Phil shouted 'Dan, are you decent? I have tea and toast'  
I realised how hungry and thirsty I was, I hadn't eaten since yesterday luch, I missed dinner because work were being absolute c-  
" Awee! You're wearing the shirt I bought you!" Phil cut me off of my train of thought, I hadn't noticed what shirt I put on. My favourite cat shirt, that Phil did buy me randomly, because, as he put it, I resembles me so much that he had to get me it, I laughed to myself, remembering that day.  
Phil placed the tea and toast on my bedside table and sat on my bed, staring up at the ceiling copying the patterns with his eyes.  
"Mate, are you alright?" I asked, slightly concerned about him.  
"Huh? Oh yeah, just feeling a bit weird that's all. Have you ever had the feeling like someone is watching you, constantly?" He said while his eyes darted around the room.  
"Yeah, I know what you mean, but the only person that is watching you is me, and to be honest, I am slightly concerned about you, look at me phil" His eyes darted to me as soon as I said his name. "Look, I want you to go to the doctors, you're not well. You need to get checked over, you know, to make sure you're alright. Will you go for me?"  
"You know how much I hate the doctors" He pulled a face at me but he knows he has to go. "Alright I'll go, will you come with me? Please?"  
"Of course I will, you know I will always be here for you mate" I smiled at him, a sign of reassurence.  
I ate my now cold toast and downed my tea in one, I knew I'd have to be the one to make the appointment. I walked out of my room and into the living room and grabbed the phone, taking a minute to think over what I was going to say. In a quick motion I dialed the doctors number and made the appointment.

-LATER-  
"Annnddd editing has been completed" I shouted in triumph. I hated the process, but my videos would be terrible if I didn't do them, and the amount of swearing I had to edit out, and all the cock ups. It was well past the normal time for dinner, I wondered what Phil was going, it was unusually quiet, especially at this time. Phil was usually playing Crash Bandicoot, or something like that. "OUCHHHH" I heard Phil shout from what sounded like the kitchen. I ran as fast as I could to get to him. He was holding his hand to his chest, looking sorry for himself.  
"Phil, What did you do?" I said taking his hand away from his chest, and examiming it, a large blister had formed on his hand, so I took him over to the sink and filled the bowl up with cold water.  
"This is gonna sting like a bitch" I slowly dipped his hand into the water and made him keep it there while I sorted out the oven, pulling out what looked like Phils dinner. I looked over at him and shoot my head.  
"You know you could have asked for some help" I teased him, We both knew he couldn't cook, but he liked to give it a try.  
"But you were busy and I didn't want to disturb you" He frowned looking down at his hand. " I should have asked, but I didn't. I don't like asking for help, I want to be able to do this"  
"Oh Phil, you do make me chuckle sometimes, come on, lets get your hand bandaged up and get you fed, to be honest, these don't look too bad. Unless you would rather a take away" Phils eyes lit up, I knew what he wanted.

That night Phil was screaming again, I hated this, again I shuffled to his room and went in and got into bed with him, but this time was different, so very different.


	2. Chapter 2

"Daan!" Phil screamed "Dan where are you!? You left me again didn't you!" "Phil! I'm right here, please don't be scared, I'm here" I whispered softly to him. I knew he was getting worse every night, but there was nothing more I could do for him, except comfort him.  
"You promised me that I'd never be on my own, yet, you're never here. Please don't do this to me again, please" He was crying now. He'd never cried like this before, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. I wish there was more that I could do.  
"Phil, how about from now on, I cuddle you in bed, okay? Would you like that?" I walk forward to him, taking his hand in mine. Suddenly, I realised the real reason why I did this for him. No, it can't be that, after all, it's not like I am that way inclined to him. He's just my best friend, my sweet, loveable best friend, who I undoubtedly Lo-. No dan, stop this right now.  
I felt comfortable now, being around him, but a small voice in the back of my head kept calling to me, as if it were dancing around and chanting like a little school girl. No, I am not going to think about it. I need to be here for my friend, not zoned out, thinking about this. He needed me more than ever.  
Phil squeezed onto my hand, a small smile appeared onto his face. I shuffled a little closer and put my arm around him, holding him close to me.  
"It's going to be alright, mate. I am here for you" I whispered as he nuzzled into my chest.  
He wanted to say something, I knew from his deep breaths but he let them out before saying anything. The suddenly he said something that shocked me into next week.  
"I love you, Dan." He whispered softly, looking away now.  
"Love you too, Phil." I replied, mainly out of shock. Phile looked at me now, he seemed so worried, I put my head on his, seeing as though I couldn't stroke his hair.  
"Come on, Phil. Talk to me please?" I was starting to worry about him now.  
"Dan, I'm so scared, I don't know what's happening to me at all. The dreams are horrible, but sometimes I have dreams of you. They seem so calm and peaceful, I never want it to end, but it always does" Phils words got quiter towards the end of his sentence, as if he was going into deep thought. After what seemed like forever of silence Phil whispered "I feel like something is wrong with me, like something inside of me is changing, and it's bringing up these bad dreams. I don't like it. It's really like my worst nightmare is coming to life slowly" I took a moment to think about this. What could he mean? He's never told me what goes on in the dreams, but he said that He dreams about me?  
Curiosity got the better of me. "When you dream about me, what is it exactly that happens?" I whispered, blushing at my own silliness. He probably wont tell me.  
"Oh, it's just like we are now, you holding me, just talking with each other." Well, I suppose that wasn't too bad, Damn.  
"Okay, I was just wondering" I was disappointed that it wasn't more, I really would have liked it to be.  
"Ha, okay Dan" He said in a teasing voice, a slight smile playing on his lips. "I am going to go to sleep now, please don't leave me" Now he looked genuinly scared.  
"I am not going anywhere, I've just gotten comfy!" I tried to reassure him, hoping it worked. He didn't reply so I assumed that he had fallen asleep.  
I could hear his soft breathing, he looked so peaceful now, and so calm. I noticed how cute he looked while he slept. His mouth was slightly open, and his hair fell over his eyes. I wasn't sure how he managed to keep it that long, yet he seemed to suit it so well. I looked over at his clock, 6:00am, is there much point trying to sleep now?  
A few more hours later or just staring at the ceiling, Phil woke up.  
"Dan, have you had any sleep at all?" He asked, concerned. He looked so adorable, the little crease between his eyes when he didn't like the look of something. Cute, Plain cute.  
"None at all, I've had too much on my mind to get any sleep"  
"Look, go get some sleep, I'll get you up in a couple of hours, then we'll sit and have a chat, okay?"  
"Phil, we have things to do today, I mean, we do need to go into town."  
"We can go down later, now go to sleep. You can stay in my bed if you really want to"  
"Fiiiiine!" I curled up in his bed and closed my eyes, the smell of Phil filled my nose, he smelled so sweet. I heard the door quietly shut. I drifted off into a sleep. Dreaming of how to tell Phil how I feel about him, telling him how much he actually means to me, and how scared I am for him.  
I woke up, bolting up into the sitting position, What the hell was that dream, I do not love Phil in any other way than as a best friend, Yeah, sure he ticked all the right boxes for a partner, but, I didn't go that way. Just no.  
Or maybe.. You can try something once right?  
I clambered out of bed, in search of my best friend, starting with our little living room, and as always he was sat there playing Spyro. Typical Phil.  
"Oh, Dan! You're awake! Here, this came for you." Phil threw the letter at me, I battled to get it open and when I did, what I read on the page my whole world fall to pieces. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note: In this chapter only there is a change of POV for reasons you'll understand**

-Dans POV-

The letter that I now held in my hands, my eyes carefully reading the marks on the page, bearly being able to see through my watering eyes. How?

'Dearest Daniel,

I know it has been a long time since I wrote to you, and I know it's crazy that a letter from me just randomly turns up at your door after 2 years of nothing.  
I couldn't help thinking of you, and it made me want to write to you, you know, to see how you are doing. I miss you, a lot, and it would be amazing if we could get back in contact with each other.  
Okay, let's just skip all the small talk and get to the point.  
I miss you, and I have been trying so hard to find you again, you've moved all over the place. After getting in contact with your mother, she agreed to give me your adress.  
I am in london for a couple of weeks, so if you wanted, we could meet up sometime, grab a coffee and catch up. I know you miss me too. We can make this work again, really.  
You have my number so, give me a call and we'll arrange something.

I heard about Philips condition. Hope he gets better.

Call me soon, Darling.

From..  
Well, You know who I am.'

All hope had gone in keeping my tears locked behind my eyes. I fell to the floor, in a tearful mess. So many things ran through my mind, so many emotions ran into each other. The person, who I once loved, who ran away from me, who promised to keep in contact then just silenced themselves, wanted to know me again, but how could they do this to me, if they still knew me, then they would know that I am happy now, why are they trying to ruin this for me. WHY!?

"Dan! Dan, what's wrong? Please, talk to me!" Phil was starting to panic, tears starting to form in his eyes. He started shaking me, trying to get me to snap out of it. I looked at him dead in the eye.  
"Remember who I told you about? The one that left me on my own then just disappeared?" My voice was shakey "Yeah, I remember, what's it got to do with them?" Anger started to build up in Phil, a side I very rarely see, It frightened me sometimes. I held out my hand with the letter in, he took it and started reading, I could see the hatred in his eyes, buring like hot coals. I stared at him for what seems like forever, eventualy I looked away and just curled up in a ball on the floor, letting my emotions take over, as I cried silently into the floor.

"Don't go, will you? Please promise you wont" Phil whispered. I knew exactly what he meant, but I want to go, I wanted to see my former love.  
"Phil, you know, I have to. It's been so long, I need to see h-"  
"No! You are not going! Especially if you get like this over them!" Phil cut me off shouting at me, which just made the tears flow quicker. "I'm sorry Dan, you know how I feel. You really do know"  
"You're right, I do know, I won't go, after all, it'll do me no good." I sat up and went to find something to busy myself with.

I couldn't help but thinking about them, all the memories I had flowing in one after the other, not giving me a break from this agony. I had the number up on my phone, debating whether I should call or not. I got up off of my bed and started pacing, no matter how much I walked in a straight line, back and forth, the thinking process wouldn't speed up. It had been an hour since I recieved that stupid letter. I had forgotten everything in the past two years, and now it's all back.

I have to call.

-Phils POV-

I knew who it was that sent the letter, and it filled me with anger when I read it. Who do they think they are, walking back into Dan's life like that, all the hurt he was put through. They don't even care about him, it will only end up in heartache and hurt again, Dan knows that for a fact, yet I know he still wants to go meet them, I mean, it's fair enough that he wants to go, after it being a long time of no communtication, but he's going to get hurt. He always gets hurt.  
I just wish he would notice that there is someone here who cares for him and loves him, who doesn't want to hurt him. He's still stuck on the past, still thinking. I thought it would have been time to move one by now, it's been two years!  
I walked all around the living room, continuing the circle, dragging my feet.  
Why does nobody ever think about Phil!? I can't blame Dan for being like this, but just walking off when I tried to talk to him, was just plain rude.  
All I want to do is comfort him, tell him that I love him, in hope that he'll love me back.  
No, that will never happen. Never, never, never. It is me after all, his best friend that he can trust. That's all I will ever be to him.  
Suddenly I heard Dan talking, not in the way that he was making a video, his voice was more hushed, speaking quickly. I need to see what he's doing, though, I think I already know. Before I knew it I was on my way to his bedroom.  
"Daaan! What are you doing in there?" I shouted at him, loud enough for him to hear.

-Dans POV-

"I have to go, Phils coming. Tomorrow at seven? Okay I'll see you there, yeah bye." I quickly hung up and threw my phone onto the bed, preparing to be lectured again.  
"Daan!" I heard him call once more.  
"You can come in you know, I'm not naked or anything!" Oh, that was just a perfect reply, well done Dan.  
Phil entered my room and closed the door behind him, once he had turned around, he crossed his arms and had a stern look on his face.  
"Ohhh, you're mad at me aren't you?"


	4. Chapter 4

I have never seen Phil this disappointed before. I felt like a child again, about to be given a good hiding. "You called her didn't you?" He said, his voice was tight, trying not to shout at me.  
"Huh, no. Of course not, why would I go and meet her if she put me through so much pain. I'm not that stupid." I tried to lie, but, as I knew far too well, my face gave it away.  
"Dammit, Dan. Don't lie to me!" Phil shouted at me, slamming his fist down on my chest of drawers. "I know you were on the phone to her! I asked you not to! Why do you always do this Dan? Why!?"  
"Phil, I'm so sorry, I have to meet her, you don't understand what it's like!" I tried to shout back at him, my voice shaking heavily.  
"No, you're right as always! You know what? Go. Go meet her, lets see if she hurts you again like last time." I knew he'd given up, but he has done it too soon, he's usually standing his point for a lot longer than this, not that we have many arguments.  
"Phil, why are you being like this? Why are you being so horrid!"  
"Because, Daniel Howell. Well.. No forget it."  
"Tell me now, Philip Lester" I wasn't going to let this go, he had something he wanted to say. Phil just slid down the wall so he was sat on the floor, hanging his head, His hair flopping down over his face. I walked over to him, and kneeled in front of him, holding onto his legs. "Come on, Phil. Talk to me, you can trust me, I'm your best friend"  
"That's exactly it, we're just friends. Well I want more Daniel! I want more and it's just so selfish of me to think the way I do about you, with every move you do I just want to hold you, with every emotion you feel, I want to be the one to cuddle you, and tell you everything is going to be alright. Look, just go and do what you want to do, I can't stop you." Phil looked up at me, tears running down his face.  
"Phil, what are you trying to tell me?" I started to cry with him, I hated it when he cried.  
"I love you, Dan! I love you!" He was now full on balling his eyes out.  
"Phil, I didn't know. If you'd have said soone-" Phil cut me off with his lips crashing onto mine, I moved his legs apart so I could get closer to him, wrapping my arms around him. He placed one hand behind my head and one on my back, keeping me close and into the kiss. After what seemed like the longest minute of my life, he finally broke away.  
"Dan, I'm so sorry, I'll leave you alone" He got up and walked out of my room, leaving me on my bedroom floor and on my own, a crying mess. Oh bother.  
I knew I had to think this through, but after that kiss, I was sure of my feelings for him, and it just made me cry more. What was it with me and crying today?

I have been pacing my room for a good hour now, it was doing me no good being stuck him here. I walked into the living room to find Phil sprawled out on the threeseater sofer, snoring lightly. He looked peaceful, but I knew later on tonight, he wont be so quiet. He started stirring, I knew he'd be awake any minute, so I quickly dashed off to the kitchen, to do what I don't know.  
A few minutes later Phil walked in looking a lot better now that he had had some sleep. Phil walked around around me, trying to avoid any contact. He had gotten himself a glass of water and when he set the drink down, I grabbed him by the wrist, flung him round so he was facing me, and just let him fall into my arms, trying to give him a loving cuddle. He tried to push me away, but I just gripped on tighter.  
"Dan, what are you doing? Can you let go please?" He frantically asked.  
"I think you deserve this after what happened earlier" I released him from the hug and let him walk out, his head down.

Phil had left for bed about three hours earlier than me, I just sat staring at the television, not really watching it. The I heard his heart breaking scream. I switched the box off anf ran as fast as I could to Phils room.  
"Phil, Phil! Are you alright!" I shouted as I barged into his room.  
"Dan? Dan, it happened again, please Dan, please don't go?" I felt saddened as I knew he had to go through this every night. There was nothing we could do until he got the test results back.  
I got into bed with him and cuddled him tightly. "I'm here baby" I whispered and got into a comfier position, which ended up with me on my back with my arm around Phil, he had his head on my chest and his arm over my stomach, his breath brushing across me, I felt safe here.  
I kissed the top of his head and fell asleep myself, knowing it was going to be a long day tomorrow.

I woke up before Phil this time, and smiled to see we were still in the same position as last night. I couldn't help but smile at him. I could make this man mine, and I wouldn't have anything to worry about, yeah, I might just do that. Phil woke up and looked straight at me.  
"We weren't laid like this all night were we?" He whispered, groggily "Yeah, we were" I laughed then climbed out of bed "I'll leave you to wake up, sleeping beauty"  
I left Phils room to go make breakfast, another letter was waiting for me by the front door, in the same hand writing as before.  
"Shit." 


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHORS NOTE: SORRY I HAVEN'T POSTED IN A WHILE, LOTS OF THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING, BUT I AM BACK NOW AND POSTING SHALL BE RETURNED TO NORMAL**

The letter was in my shaking hands, I wasn't sure if I should read it or not. Should I wait for Phil, and read it with him, or do it on my own? What if I have another break down?  
Phil was in the shower, he wouldn't be long. I need to do this as quickly as possible. I need to.  
I stood with my back against the door and quickly opened the letter and pulled out the paper waiting for me in there, this time it was a photo of me and her. We were stood in a pub, my arm around her. She had her head resting on my shoulder. We were smiling, genuine smiles. I remembered that day like it was yesterday.

-Flashback-  
"Oh dear, someone brought their camera with them! Everyone is going to get mug shots taken!" Everyone laughed as photos were taken. We were at a friends leaving party, he was moving over to spain with his girlfriend in a week, and we threw a surprise party for them. It wasn't much, more like a get together to say unofficial goodbyes with alcohol down our necks. It was all just to have fun for one last time as our big friend group.  
"It's getting a bit messy now, and I don't know how well I'll be able to walk in these shoes" She shouted at me over the music.  
"Let's just stay a little longer, I haven't had chance to talk to him yet!" I shouted back.  
"Dan! Smile for the camera mate!" After we had been blinded by the flash, I tried to make my way over to my best friend, to wish him luck in his life, and to tell him I had to head off.  
"Look, I know we've had a rocky friendship, but I really do wish the best of luck to you, and make sure you come back at somepoint, I'm gonna miss you man! Anyway I need to head off now, the lady needs a bed, I'll pop over to yours during the week, and give you a hand packing" With I went back over to her and we headed back to my flat.

The repressed memory made a tear roll down my face, I looked at the bottom of the picture there was writing "I miss this. Do you remember?" It was signed with an S and a heart. Why did she do this to me? A memory I loved and hated at the same time. Phil tapped on the door.  
"Dan? I made breakfast, it's on the bar waiting for you" I wiped my face from tears and headed out to meet Phil.

The day flew by and by the time I realised it, I was getting ready to go meet her. Phil was helping me choose what to wear. I pulled out my best shirt.  
"No, not that. Far to dressy to go and meet someone in a pub. Here, what about this?" Phil pulled out a smart casual shirt, which still had the tags on from when I bought it, I juat never had an occasion to wear it for, and I didn't like it as much as I did when I bought it. I'll have a good enough reason to throw it way when this is done. Phil was coming with me, but is going to be sat with PJ and Chris, to make it look less obvious that he was there to keep an eye on me. He hadn't seen the latest letter and I didn't want him to, the first chance I get, I am going to burn it so it isn't in the flat anymore.

The walk down was the most terrifying this I've ever had to go through, though, the comfort of Phils presence was sort of comfoting. We'd planned it that Phil, PJ and Chris would go in 10 minutes after me.  
I walked in and looked around for her, I knew this would be the best place to meet, with people around nothing would be able to happen. I walked a little further in and that's when I saw her. I walked over slowly to her, time seemed to slow down, each step seemed to take me further away, each foot fall seemed to take forever. Was this really happening? Was I about to see my ex for the first time in over 3 years? I really hoped I had mistaken her for someone else. She had her back to me, she hadn't noticed me yet, thankfully. I could make a run for the door now, if I really wanted to, I mean, I wanted to, but something kept me walking straight to here. My heart pounded as I was just about to reach her, I stopped dead still, rethinking about running for the door and forget out it completely, and getting on with my life, even if it gnawed at the back of my mind for an eternity. I must have looked like a fool, just stood in the middle of a pub staring at this one girl, who might not even be who I was looking for, then again, women don't have a tendency to come to pubs on thier own, do they?  
I started heading forward again, one slow step at a time, trying to even my breathing in, I took one quick glance back towards the door, to see Phil was already coming in, good, I can do this, it's only for an hour, then I can go join Phil and just cry for the rest of the night. I just wanted to be at home, on the sofa watching the some shit on the television, obviously what wasn't going to happen anytime soon. I hope this hour goes quickly.  
I reached her, her long blonde hair still as bright as I remembered it, but somewhat longer and wavey. This is it Dan, time to face fate once again, to be kncoked down into emotional dispare and cry over the past, someone help me, another glace back, I could see Phil clearly from where I was, and he could see me, he gave one quick, sharp nod, I turned back around and took a deep breath in.  
"Excuse me" I whispered, my voice failing on me.  
"Daniel?" 


End file.
